"Shallow
men believe in luck, believe in circumstances… Strong men believe in cause and
effect.” Ralph Waldo
Be
you shallow or not, luck is certainly a great ingredient to have in life but
far from being sufficient. Many people do seem to believe, however, in that
axiom: "Everything happens for a reason." Like me, you too, at some
time or another, must have come across truisms such as: "It might take a
year, it might take a day, but what's meant to be will always find its
way" or "sometimes when thing are falling apart, they may actually be
falling into place." And as easy as it is to relate to these phrases, it is
still very difficult to accept the idea that there is in fact a reason for
everything that happens!
It makes me wonder why we take a certain path or why things happen the way they do. It is doubtless easier to imagine some hidden hand, navigating and influencing our lives over which we, ourselves, have limited control. Malcolm T. Gladwell in The Outliers tries to persuade us out of our frustration when we fail to achieve our goals, explaining that everything relates to or depends on macro circumstances which are totally out of our hands, such as our time of birth. He gives examples of people such as Steve Jobs and Bill Gates who were born in the same range of years, a fact which, he claims, enabled their vision. While I am intrigued by his interpretation, I can’t help thinking that these people had something more than just circumstances playing to their strength. They also had the ability to use their surroundings and turn them to their favor.
Image by Ravit Turkiya
"Everything happens for a reason” is a strong
notion, because it adds to a particular setting something more than simple
fortuity, namely, a logic for why things turn out the way they do. So here are
7 ideas that break down this somewhat "mystical” approach to the practical
actions that stand behind the cause and effect parameters of our journey.
1. Awareness
– everything happens for a reason is about looking to connect the dots. Understanding that however coincidental the circumstances
of our life, our awareness and observation of their evolution is crucial
to our ability to react.
2. React
accordingly – everything happens for a reason is about our ability to adapt to
the changes around and act appropriately. Sometimes we have the skills, sometimes it requires us to learn something
new; at times we will be able to easily adjust, at others it will require
putting in a special effort. Our ability to flexibly react can make a
difference.
3. Distinguish
between that which is immovable and that which calls for your active involvement
– everything happens for a reason is about accepting that which is out of our
hands. If it is something we cannot
change, we are best to just move on. We often have the answers but ignore the
truth. Believing in the meeting of wills can eliminate unnecessary expectations
and disappointments.
4. Use
your circumstances to your own advantage – everything happens for a reason is
about exploiting opportunities. To be successful you need motivation,
devotion, determination, and also luck, but if you cannot adjust your vision to
the reality around you, these elements will not
prevail. Being able to look at your own reality and say as many times as
possible that everything happens for a reason, means you are using
opportunities. You see doors close, but you can very quickly look to the other
side and see the new doors opening. It is this navigation through obstacles, challenges,
good things and bad that may lead to success and self-fulfillment.
5. Be
willing to work hard – everything happens for a reason is about the connection
between efforts put in and results obtained. Even if you believe in luck,
you cannot ignore the fact that change and achievements are the result of being
able to pull yourself out of one situation and move to another. Education,
career, finding the right partner, building a family – all these involve
commitment and hard work. Being lucky may help, but it is not everything.
6. Never
ever let go of your past experience – everything happens for a
reason is about learning from your own experiences and advancing. When you look at your past experience
as something that was there for a reason, you can see its purpose in your life.
One person may realize their actual strength, another their own limitations or defects.
Accepting the past and understanding that it cannot be erased can become a catalyst
for growth and self-improvement. Because when we confront our challenges and
search and understand our motives, they can open the way to new, exciting and
unknown journeys.
7. Just let go and relax – everything happens for a reason is
also about letting circumstances lead the way. It is only by adopting this mindset that you
can look back with satisfaction, safe in the knowledge that everything is backdrop
to your future. This idea of being able to accept things as they are has, more
often than not, had a stronger impact than I could ever have imagined. It works
well in so many aspects of our lives, be
it the allegedly shallow expression of fashion or other examples, one of them shared in the post here. When choosing a certain way or stumbling onto a specific path, the ability
to see beyond randomness allows you to believe that it needed to happen that
way and no other.
It often happens that when you feel lucky, you just wait for things to happen to you, but the truth is that nothing comes easy. If you think about it, most of our achievements relate to deliberate action and hard work. And all the hard work—achieved through awareness and courage— ignite the will to satisfy motivation. So yes, everything happens for a reason, but all the reasons lead to the same source, and the greater or lesser your degree of involvement, you are still an integral component of the reasons for everything happening around.
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